Public Vs. Private & Personal Notes...

Toward the end of last year A.J. and I began discussions on placing Alex at our local public school next fall.  I never thought I'd even be considering such a thing one short year ago, but here we are.  There are several reasons we began these discussions but at this point those are no longer important. The interesting thing is that we both separately began considering the option before even mentioning it to the other person.  We have prayed a lot about it, considered the pros and the cons, consulted with friends who are teachers in the disctrict or who have kids at the school.  And over time we have made the decision to place Alex at the public school.  Both A.J. and I feel it is the best place for Alex to be and that he can only benefit from going there.  It is an excellent school academically, and while there are some budget cuts in our district, they are not so much so as to scare us away from our decision.  Alex, so far, doesn't know he won't be going back to Holy Cross, but we will be telling him in the very near future.  While I dread his potential response to our decision, I think over time it will be something he will get excited about.  A.J. and I have a few plans up our sleeves to help make this something he'll see as positive.

I've discovered my biggest anxiety in regards to changing schools is something that comes from inside myself. I get incredibly anxious about Alex being the new kid and the initial transition.  Not because I have doubts about Alex's ability to adapt to the change or because of difficulty making friends.  Alex does well in both areas.  It actually stems from my own personal experience when as a high schooler I went to four different high schools in four different states in as many years (duh!).  It was quite a character building four years for me to say the least.  While it helped me adapt to the new situations by being on the tennis team and field hockey team at the beginning of the new school year, it was a constant challenge for me every move we made as a family.  The challenges from those moves for me were to this day some of the most difficult of my life believe it or not.**  Because of those experiences I always promised myself I'd give my kids the stability, security, and consistency of keeping them in one school system.  But as I sit here I have to say I am frequently re-living the feelings I experienced being the new kid when I think of Alex being in that position and it gives me great anxiety.  This will be the only school change we will put him through!

Since our decision I've become more aware of parental chatter at Alex's school and their perspectives on public schools.  It's been interesting.  I can't tell you how many times I've heard negative comments in regards to public schools as well as lots of fears [if their child ever had to go to public school].  If I don't keep my own head I can find myself being pulled in to that negative line of thinking.  This is what I'm able to tell myself. We cannot parent from a perspective of fear.  We go to a simply amazing church that has excellent childrens programming, and second to us, helps equip Alex spiritually.  Alex will be going to an amazing, albeit competitive school - one of the best in the county.  Alex is bright, easy-going and, like all kids, resilient.  It's better to make a move at this point in his school career now rather than waiting until junior high (when that sort of change could be really difficult).  Deep down, I know this is the right thing for my kiddo.  I look forward to watching him flourish!

Thank you for your ear - this has been a nice cathartic moment for me! :)

**Note to Dad & Mom: this is not a guilt trip for you! Please know that!! :)