Date With a Birth Father...

When we entered the world of adoption, neither of us ever considered the idea that we'd ever deal with anyone other than the birth mom of our child. In fact all the stories we'd ever heard or read about dealt with the birth mom/adoptive parent relationship and that was all. The birth dad was rarely in the picture and often times was at the very least indifferent, but more than than likely long gone.  In our situation, our primary contact has always been with Ayson's birth mom, Candice, though we had met his birth dad twice (once prior to Ayson's birth, and once at his birth) and have maintained email contact with him over the past five years.

Last month we received and email from Ayson's birth dad, Steve. He had been discharged from the army due to an injury received while skydiving, and he is living in Arkansas. He requested an opportunity to meet Ayson.  I was uncomfortable with the idea and let my mind run wild with crazy thoughts, and it seemed a little "unfair" that other adoptive parents only need to concern themselves with their birth mom relationship but here we were now looking at something unknown with our birth dad. After speaking with our adoption counselor about all the things running through my overactive imagination, she gave me a  much greater and rational perspective.  A.J. and I discussed how we wanted to handle things, and decided to "just do it." We set up a time and place to meet Steve.

So this past Saturday we had our meeting. Steve came alone and Ayson confidently greeted him.  Those who know Ayson know he's sort of a "man's man." He loves hanging out with the men in his life - his daddy, granddads, and even our male friends. So it was not a total surprise that Ayson took to him right away. At first Steve was talking to A.J. and me and would occasionally look over at Ayson playing. I think he wasn't sure how to navigate the situation. We "gave him permission" to  play with Ayson, hang with him, etc. - that was why he was there after all! So Steve did just that and would come back and chat for a few minutes (he even told us how grateful he was that we are Ayson's parents), and then go back to playing with Ace. Things were going well enough and comfortably so we invited him to join us for lunch, and then we closed the visit with some photos and our good byes.

I'm glad we got beyond our initial fears and went ahead with our visit.  It was good for all involved, but most of all I know it will benefit Ayson. We are amazed at how blessed we continue to be in this adoption. God has definitely taken care of us and I know has great plans for our little Ayson!