Birth Father...

We've always had email contact with Ayson's biological father.  As with Candice, we send him monthly photos of Ayson. He emails sporadically, and we respond with Ayson's milestones, updates and the like. But the nature of our relationship with him is vastly different than the one we have with Candice.  It is not an open relationship at all. And we've been comfortable with it that way.  Ayson knows about his biological father but has never met him (unless you count the first two days he was in the hospital after Ayson's birth).  When Ayson was about seven months old we agreed to a meeting with him at the adoption agency, but he didn't show up (partially due to his own lack of planning).  It was a tough situation to say the least.

Anyway,Tuesday we received an email from him that he is out of the army (yes, he was in the army but was medically discharged), and is back in Arkansas/Texas living with his fiancee, they're expecting a baby in early January, and oh yes, he'd like to see Ayson! I took a deep breath.  Then another one. There is a hesitancy on my part. I mulled it over with A.J. And today I actually talked with our contact at our adoption agency voicing my concerns, thoughts.  Obviously our first concern is the well-being of Ayson, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't have my own "self" concerns/reservations. It's really difficult to navigate a relationship when the one birth parent is so drastically different from the other in numerous ways - different life goals, maturity level, personality, family and personal background, etc.But also it's important to us that Ayson never feels as though we're looking down or being snide about either of his birth parents. 

So as I said, I spoke with our friend from our adoption agency so we could just talk this thing through.  I was pretty blunt and told her about my wildest "what ifs" running through my crazy imagination. Oh yes, I went there! She gave me much more perspective on the situation, along with several options on how A.J. and I can handle it. So in the coming days (when A.J. and I actually have a moment to sit and chat. Ha!), we'll discuss and try to hammer out the details of what to do and how to go about doing it. No matter what route we take, I think I'll just be glad to be able to move ahead and on to other things. More to come in the not too distant future on this.

The adoption path is never dull!